A New Episcopalian's Journey

2012-01-21T17:04:00.001-06:00

"When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of ‘No answer.’ It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, ‘Peace, child; you don’t understand.’

"Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable. How many hours are there in a mile? Is yellow square or round? Probably half the questions we ask—half our great theological and metaphysical problems—are like that.

"And now that I come to think of it, there’s no practical problem before me at all. I know the two great commandments, and I’d better get on with them."

--C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

New Year, New Possibilities

2012-01-01T18:19:00.001-06:00

From the New Zealand prayer book:

Lord,
It is night.

The night is for stillness.
Let us be still in the presence of God.

It is night after a long day.
What has been done has been done;
what has not been done has not been done;
let it be.

The night is dark.
Let our fears of the darkness of the world and of our own lives
rest in you.

The night is quiet.
Let the quietness of your peace enfold us,
all dear to us,
and all who have no peace.

The night heralds the dawn.
Let us look expectantly to a new day,
new joys,
new possibilities.

In your name we pray.
Amen.

O Little Town of Bethlehem

2011-12-10T11:44:00.001-06:00

The British version, to the folk tune of Forest Green.

Adoro te devote

2011-12-01T13:57:00.001-06:00

by Thomas Aquinas.

See here for Latin to English.

This Tune is a Good One to Whistle on a Walk

2011-11-30T07:00:00.000-06:00

A New Dimension in the World of Sound

2011-11-29T12:50:00.001-06:00

2011-11-27T17:14:00.001-06:00

Just had this one in my head today. That is all.

[Okay, these lyrics don't exactly match with this arrangement. But you get the idea.]

Praise to the Lord, the Almighty
The King of creation
O my soul, praise Him
For He is thy health and salvation
All ye who hear, now to His temple draw near
Praise Him in glad adoration

Praise to the Lord
Who o'er all things so wonderfully reigneth
Shelters thee under His wings
Yea, so gladly sustaineth
Hast thou not seen how thy desires e'er have been
Granted in what He ordaineth

Praise to the Lord
Who doth prosper they work and defend thee
Surely His goodness and mercy here daily attend thee
Ponder anew what the Almighty can do
If with His love He befriend thee

Praise to the Lord, O let all that is in me adore Him
All that hath life and breath
Come now with praises before Him
Let the 'amen' sound from His people again
Gladly for aye we adore Him

Occupy Advent

2011-11-27T08:36:00.001-06:00

Peaceful. Powerful.

2011-11-20T12:31:00.001-06:00

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2011/11/20/142562402/video-after-pepper-spraying-a-powerfully-silent-protest-at-uc-davis

Reconciliation

2011-11-19T18:16:00.001-06:00

Trying to reconcile this:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

With this:

All Saints' Day

2011-11-01T19:11:00.002-05:00

For all the saints, who from their labors rest . . .

St. Crispin's Day

2011-10-25T08:40:00.002-05:00

Not Strong Enough

2011-10-22T12:20:00.002-05:00

Autumnal Equinox

2011-09-23T10:34:00.000-05:00

First day of fall, and not a moment too soon. The brutal summer heat appears to have lifted at last. Nice to see dew in the morning again, don't you think?

Fortieth birthday on the near horizon as well. Not sure how I feel about that.

But October, my favorite month of the year, is right around the bend. And that's a good thing.

Opening Day

2011-09-01T05:00:00.000-05:00

Everyone tells me that after losing someone the calendar will be full of reminders and milestones--birthdays, the holidays, and so on. This makes sense, and as a historian perhaps I am especially attuned to the importance of dates. But here's one that, even though I knew it was coming, still somehow sneaked up on me.

The end of the summer is usually quite stressful in my line of work, at least for me. For one thing, I don't have the summer off like the rest of the university world, even though many people think I do. In publishing we barrel on through year-round like any other business. But because so many of our "clients" do operate on an academic schedule, they all return to their posts about the same time and the floodgates open. I get a sudden influx of new submissions, presumably coming out of all the work that writers have been doing over the break but more often are half-baked projects that have been thrown together in the last couple of weeks to prove to deans and tenure committees that the entire summer wasn't a loss. Worse than that comes a deluge of phone calls and e-mail to the effect of, "Where are things on [fill in the blank] and what's taking so long?" And, of course, these are all things that I'm behind on. Given the ride I've been on over the last year, I'm behind on a lot. All this is good and well. It's the job. It is what it is. I can handle it. But it wears me down and I do need some time away.

And this is where the milestone comes in. Ordinarily at this point in the summer, Dad and I would be gearing up for our annual hunting trip to West Texas. It was the light at the end of the tunnel, a tall glass of water at the end of a hot day, a respite and replenishment. It was an opportunity to spend time with Dad and soak in the stillness of Creation.

Opening Day is now just an empty spot on my calendar.

But the memories are there. Lots and lots of them. And they're all good. Very good.

The place

The man

The view from my favorite shade tree, looking up